Funny classifieds

Credits: Gerhard Gellinger por Pixabay

We have to pay attention if we are really 'saying' what we mean... Otherwise, we run the risk of joining the 'funny' section, like the following ones:

# Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first! 
# Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential. 
# Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink. 
# Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops. 

# Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again. 

# Wanted: Preparer of food. Must be dependable, like the food business, and be willing to get hands dirty. 

# Illiterate? Write today for free help. 
# For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers. 
# Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children. 
# Lose all your weight, only $49. 

# For sale by owner. Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything.

# Stock up and save. Limit: one.